Well folks, today was really it.
I got confirmation from the people who own the art for my book cover that it's copyright-free (YAY !), and also my buddy Shachaf made the final pdf version of the book - so it'll soon be available through Kindle, Nook, and all those other e-readers.
Plus a bunch of other productive, positive shit.
And to celebrate, I got pretty blitzed down at Gentle Ben's on Univ. - not drunk; just seriously buzzed - a kind, sweet, mellow good beer buzz (they brew some awesome beer & ale there).
So the question is - after all this time - years and years and years - I finish the book my grandfather inspired (I loved him so much), and where's that feeling of completion ? Strange, but I just feel hollow.
Is this the curse of modern society ? That we just can't feel a fuckin' thing anymore, we're so numb ?!
I don't know.
I DO know I've finally put a lot of ghosts to rest. And I have done my best - which is all you can do, right ?
OK - I'm gonna spill my guts here. Why do I wanna weep ?
So what the fuck's wrong with me ?
Take It To The Limit - I keep playin' that fucker over and over - so much of it is true...
All alone at the end of the evenin '...thinkin' about a woman who loved me...I've always been a dreamer, and so on and so forth.
You can spend all your time makin' money...if it all fell to pieces tomorrow, would you still be mine ? (of course fuckin' not!), etc. etc.
And so I sit here - everything I could want immediately at hand, and wonder why
it's never enough - is it ? Everything going right...so rare, so incredibly good.
One book published by a New York publisher, the other about to hit print under my own company's label.
Like the Aussie's say - "No worries, Mate".
Ah, well. I guess it doesn't mean a fuckin' thing, does it ?
Thank you for caring enough to read this. It really does feel good that other people care - even if only a little.
In the end, that's all we have - the people we've touched in life. Relationships.
And we don't realize it until we're almost dead - that our relationships with others are the only thing that mattered in life.
Too heavy ?
I get this way when I'm seriously flawed. Oh well.
But it IS a day for celebration, and I'm just tryin' to figure out why I feel so sad.
Can you possibly understand ?
Take It To The Limit - one more time...